I don’t mean that in the nice way. Innsbruck has been fairly mean to Ashley and me since arriving home at 430 in the morning on Monday. I’ve been ruded to, thrown in ice water, fallen over, nearly been arrested, honked at, had rocks thrown at me, and something else for sure…just can’t remember it.
Anyhow, I’ll start with the main one – arrest. So Ashley and I were riding yesterday up above Innsbruck. We had just done a pretty sweet climb. We were chatting and having a good ol time, when a white car pulled up and told us to ride single-file. I looked in with a smart ass comment on my tongue to see it was the cops. So I said thanks, and singled it up.
They weren’t done with us though. About a half mile up the road, the two cops are out of the car and waving us into a parking lot like we’re a tractor trailer losing goats on the highway. He asks for my passport. Em, no, I don’t carry my passport when biking (unless I’m riding from Croatia to Slovenia). What? You don’t have your passport?! Do you have any money? No. I don’t have any money either. What? No Money?!?
So then, the genius turns his attention to Ashley and asks her the same questions…not once thinking how ridiculous it would be to be carrying many euros and a passport while biking. Whatever.
For once, I had the good sense to play dumb. I know I am often dumb, but I don’t often fake it. So I refrained from speaking German and innocently said that we had no idea that this was the law. We had just arrived in Austria and were enjoying a nice ride, bla bla bla. This quieted him a bit, or maybe he was just peeved that to extract 50 euros from us, he’d have to follow us all the way back to Innsbruck…or load the bikes in the car and us too. He wanted to do it. He struggled with the idea. He wanted to make our lives miserable, but just couldn’t stand the idea of making his own a little miserable in the process. Good for him.
So we avoided a fine, ticket, and a trip with the police. That was nice.
On the way home, I had a guy freak out on me as he tried to pass me into a red light. Yes, the red light was 50m in front of us, and yes, he was one of those hurry up and wait kind of people and I was getting in the way. People…they’re the worst.
And THEN, this is the best one. Ashley and I ride the elevator up to our floor (#5) and move to get off when the door opens. Something funny happens though. A girl tries to get on before we can get off. She’s chatting away on her phone, and I’m pretty sure at this point that she didn’t notice the two people and two bikes occupying the elevator. She moves to get on, and something finally clicks that there are people trying to get out. She steps back, Ashley gets out, then she tries to get on again…as I’m trying to get out. She wasn’t done yet either – as I was finally allowed to exit the elevator she runs into me in her rush to get on the elevator.
I’ve never seen anything like it. Is it such a crazy thing? People on the elevator get off…you get on. She’s going to be a mean old lady someday. She’s already a mean young person. I’ll be fighting her for a seat on a bus in about 50 years after she elbows me and cuts me in line. People…they’re the worst.
That brings this rambling tale to today…I went biking again. It was a lovely day, complete with warm temperatures and 1000 mph winds. I rode up a nice climb, got kinda asthmatic, so I started to slowly loop toward home. I figured with all the warm weather, that I could use the bike paths again…nope.
At first, it was grand. No cars, nice pavement, rolling home (albeit very slowly, what with that tornado in my face)…then the snow started creeping onto the path…little by little until it was covering most of it and then WHAM! I’m up to me knees in slush. It was a trap laid expertly by Mother Nature. I was just riding along in the half-snowish, I saw some water up ahead, but it had been wet all over, all day, so no problem. Nope. This was a problem. The water was at least two feet deep and filled with slush, so I came to a halt about halfway through Lake Inferior, and realized that if I didn’t get off my bike quickly, I was going to fall over into the lake. I got off, landed, looked down, and I’ll be damned if the water wasn’t up to almost my knees.
I ran out quick snap, stopped at the edge, bent over and howled my girliest howl and let the waves of fierce cold roll through. It was funny. I was laughing too. The cold eventually went away-ish, but I was soaked and ready to go home. I started riding again, but Mother Nature wasn’t quite done with me. I ran into a big pile of snow a little bit later and got thrown on the ground. That was nice.
I did in fact finally make it home in one piece, dripping wet. I walked in the door and ate all of Ashley’s Gummi Fruits. She ate all of the strawberries today, so now we’re even. Except it won’t be even for long, because I’m going to go get her some more at the store before she gets back from class.
I’m tired now from all of this writing.
