I’ve been suffering from a bad back for the last month and a half. It has made me question a lot of things. It has freaked me out in a big way as well. I took it for granted that my tweaked back would get better after a few days, or at the worst, after a couple weeks. I took it for granted that I’d be fine to take up full-on training in the not too distant future.
But it didn’t go away.
It’s still here. It’s always here. The only time I don’t feel it is when I’m flat on my back or standing up. Any other position? It’s there, poking at my lower right back.
Over the last couple months, I’ve had a few wake-up calls on aging. I’m not old by any means, but 28 isn’t 18. At this point, I can start to see the benefits of healthy living, and conversely, unhealthy living.
I’ve never flossed my teeth. Before a month or so ago, I had probably flossed my teeth a grand total of 100 times…in my entire life. Then I got the news that there was deep pocketing in the back of my mouth in my gums, and if it went untreated, I could lose my teeth in a couple of years.
I always thought that flossing was sort of optional. If I didn’t do it, I’d just have somewhat puffy gums that bled easily. No big deal. Turns out it’s not optional, and if you don’t floss, you can either lose your teeth or cough up five thousand dollars to fix nearly three decades of laziness.
I hate learning adult lessons.
The same goes with my back… I always figured core and stability exercises were optional, same with stretching. I’m a bike rider. I like to ride bikes. I do not like pilates, yoga, stretching, planks, crunches, sit-ups, whatever. I like to pedal my bike. That’s it.
Now, I’m finding that I have some bad problems that have grown slowly and steadily over the last ten years of bike riding (I’ve been riding bikes for ten years as of this month-ish, crazy!) and not paying attention to the little details. Instead of being able to offer myself up for a surgery though, I’m left with the knowledge that I have to fix myself, fix ten years of non-work. In one way, it’s reassuring to know that I can undo my decade of wrongs, but in another way, it’s so, so frustrating to know that I could have fixed this years ago.
I’ve had so, so, so many people offer advice and help to me over the years. I wish I hadn’t been so stupid and arrogant not to listen to them. The above are only two physical examples.
I don’t even want to imagine how many things lie waiting for me not to get myself in order.